Monos y Playa Grande
Costa Rica Days 6 // 7

hi, 

we're getting a two-fer here as i wasn't feeling well last night and was lying in bed ~7;30p and decided to just call it and sleep. needed it - slept for 12 hours. best night of sleep since being here! and still laid in bed for a while after. felt much better this morning.

however today as the day went on i still didn't feel so great so i stayed pretty close to home whenever i went out. it's Saturday - so day off - so that was nice and haven't pulled out my laptop until now. not the day you want to feel meh but no complaints. not much today - dip in the ocean after eating a little pastry up here at villas macondo, back up here for solid lunch after missing dinner last night (wasn't feeling well) so made pasta with pesto rosso(!) whihc that sauce is something i haven't seen since studying in paris. it is gooood. and on my way to wash my pasta bowl in the ktichen after eating out front of my room i shrieked as i nearly walked into a lizard! a smaller ones than the giant ones i've seen, but still! it blended with the grey stone path, so it spooked me as i wasn't expecting it. cool to watch - it stayed for a min and then crawled up into the bush next to it and proceeded to eat leaves there for the next ~10mins while i watched. so cool! it moves from branch to branch to eat the leaves and when a couple walks by to head towards the kitchen, it all of the sudden plops out of the bush (not smoothly, looking uncoordinated) and speed crawls off and up a tree to safety. i'm glad i decided to write this part as otherwise i totally would have forgotten what i realized earlier today - they are way more scared of us than we are of them. these animals, this is their home and it's good to remember the last sentence as towns get more popular, leading to more businesses being built and construction, and this takes up (what I'm guessing) was more natural land that they inhabited. anyways.

jumping to yesterday as i'd like to keep this entry quick bc i either want to go grab dessert (i made dinner in from Super Compro provisions -- quesadilla with chopped tomatoes and avocado that was finally ready to be used. pretty sure i bought it on day 1!) or just chill here. i'm going to Playa Conchal tomorrow for a daytrip after consulting Sebastian's expertise at reception this afternoon. first time outside of Tamarindo since getting here!

okay so yesterday - light breakfast pre surf session (avocado with tomato). get to Salty Sols and the other girl who's taking a lesson with me is there- her name is Andrea. Eric gives an enthusiastic welcome and high five as he comes round the corner from out back. let's go surfing!!! he says we're going to surf Playa Grande today and i can't recall if he shares this either at the surf shop or on the way to the beach or once we're on the beach. but Andrea and i are carrying our boards together - her at the front and me at the back. so anyways Playa Grande means... crossing the estuary. the crocodile habitat. honestly i think Eric tells us this on the beach otherwise i would have been thinking of nothing else on the way down, but yeah we head to the right once we get on the beach to go in the direction of the mouth of the river. i honestly don't want to re-live this hahah but yep we get there and i don't even have to ask eric as we approach whether we're taking a boat over or not bc i already know the answer. he's a qualified surfer. he's paddling across, obviously! Andrea does not seem concerned one bit and i am the last to get in the water after them and try to go as fast as i can. i don't really remember anything else then but before we got in the water i asked eric something and he just says to not paddle much deeper than your hands. 

we're across and we walk prob ten minutes down the beach to get to where we're going to surf. Andrea and I got out at different times and I grabbed ERic's stuff (shoe and rashguard) for him and he lost one of his flip flops and went UP THE ESTUARY to retrieve it. mind is blown. anyways so yeah i grabbed his things and have my own flip flops so i'm behind Andrea getting situated between carrying things plus my board and i have a hard time walking with it. it's a work out just getting TO where we're going to surf. i realize it's easier for Andrea and i to double up next time as we did on the way over. once eric gets to our spot, he heads back to help me out and it's way easier. it's also windy might i add! so handling the board solo is a balancing act. now we're heading into the water and as i'm maybe a little below knee-deep water and looking down at my board holding it was waves come washing in, i realize i'm feeling a little nauseous. then i'm like oh yeah, well i just swam across the river mouth where the crocodiles were so yeah, that makes sense i might feel a little unwell. 

so much less crowded on Playa Grande compared to the beaches on the other side! before we hopped in the water, Eric tells us that here there's an off-shore wind (coming from the land and towards the sea) and that this keeps the waves really nicely groomed. cool. i've known ski slopes to be groomed but now i know it applies here, too. either as we're just taking our first steps into the water or right about to, i pluck up the nerve to ask him as coolly as possible - 'what should i do// what do we do if there's.... animales?' - 'animales' comes out with fear and my voice higher. and in spanish haha i'm not sure why i'd sound less nervous saying so. not the point- Eric verbatim goes 'tell me so i can GET outta there' with a chuckle. okay so, this is an every person for themselves kinda thing if things go haywire  good to know. makes sense why there's no waiver even bothered to be involved with these lessons. soo yeah the waves are great, it's less crowded, ideally i should be enjoying myself but i'm a lot distracted by 1) what i did to get there and the fact that we have to go back (i ask Eric right before we cross the estuary if the tide is going out, thinking it must be so that when we come back, the water level will be lower. nope. he says 'it's coming in'. meaning, the water will be higher on the paddle back. terrifying,) so that i need to conserve enough energy that i can paddle my ass BACK across that estuary and my arms aren't dead and 2) Eric's honest response to my question and how it has me thinking of how i purposely kept it vague by saying 'animales', not crocodiles specifically. as there are sharks, too, i believe. and i honestly don't want to know what else before i'm about to get in this water and go surfing with less people around. for some reason the more people, the more i feel a sense of safety. like more people in the water means more eyes and ears for sketchy animal activity and to be honest, less liekly that it's me going down. survival of the fittest?

but yeah given that last sentence, i'm really concerned bc if something shows up around me in the water, i want to have enough energy to get my ass outta there and quickly and, unfortunately, my arms are absolutely toast from surfing the day prior. i am SO sore that it was like okay, it's a workout getting the board to where we're setting up camp at Playa Grande, and now i have about ten mins' (not even) worth of energy surfing before my arms were just like, nah. no mas. part-way through the lesson another surfer even comes up by me, super nicely, checking in and is like 'you have to paddle' i'm like I KNOW! (in my head) and explain yeah, i know haha my arms are so tired. we chat and his name's Giovanni and he works with Eric with lessons sometimes. so friendly! he gives me a tow or push i can't recall (how out of my element i must've looked for him to do this ) and sends me off on my way towards Eric to catch another. 

the surf was great when i was up!!! so much fun and we're out further than the day before, so able to ride them a long ways in which is awesome. all cred to Eric for the extra push before diving into the wave but once i'm up, i got it, and i've figured out steering left vs right which is pretty awesome. and balancing leaning forward vs backward experience feels really good, too. Eric let's me know to get lower, than one of the good ones i caught in my back was totally hunched lol, so i keep this in mind for the end of the lesson. Andrea absolutely crushes tho!! she seems totally fearless and confident and i tell her all of this after we're out of the water, but it's fun to watch her getting up on her board and Eric and I cheering her on once he's on her way. Eric sets me up on this last one saying 'okay 1 or 2 more' and i catch it and am all good with that being my last one :) ready to be done. 

we come back and i don't even want to write about that experience right now but again, forcing myself to do this before i forget things/ say them differently by having to recall them later on, it was sheer terror. Eric says to us this time to 'keep close' and before we get in the estuary Andrea asks him about when the crocodiles are in the water and again, his verbatim response is 'All the time'. point blank and bluntly. no sugar coating, here. so we're closer to Eric this time but still, i'm last and i'm realizing okay, i'm on a shorter board than yesterday and i'm the smallest of us three, i really don't want to be a crocodile snack today. i paddle, paddle, paddle with all my might but over halfway there, i'm just so. tired. i let me chest down for a moment but remember, i need my eyes up and on top of the water/ able to look down at the water to see if any of them are nearby me, and i audibly say to myself while paddling again 'don't. panic.' and i paddle, paddle, paddle again and i'm almost there - less than ten feet out - but i truly don't seem to be going anywhere and i'm feeling like a baby who is about to have a tantrum. like about to cry because they don't know what else to do hahah but i keep going and by this point, Andrea's gotten off her board and is already on shore but when she did get off her board (too early), she was WAY deeper than she or i expected. it was like up to her ribcage at least, maybe almost chest. so i'm like okay there's a shelf and okay, i need to actually paddle myself FULLY to shore, not a couple feet out from it. and back to the baby analogy, this panick is setting in because i know that if i'm paddling but not actually moving forward, the tide is coming in and i don't want to be swept up-river by the tide. as in, i need to be stronger than the tide. Eric's coaxing me to paddle (i think? partial black out) and i say back to them or at least myself 'I'm panicking' and Eric goes 'Kaela they love to hang out right there' and that's what i needed to get kicked into my next gear the last bit and Andrea pulls my board further in the very very last bit. sheer terror i tell you! i say something to Eric afterwards like I really thought the adrenaline would have kicked in to help, cause i didn't think it did. 

I survived. I will not be paddling across the river mouth again. I will surf and even at Playa Grande again, but i mental note to myself that i will *not* surf in that mental state of uneasiness again - i either have to be in or out. confidence or sit it out. it's far more stressful doing it and not enjoying it than having fun (surfing) or watching from the beach.

the story of 'monos' for another day, 

ciao

8:45p, 7 January 2023